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11 ways to stay ridiculously happy in marriage.

11 Ways to stay Ridiculously Happy in Your Marriage

Why 11?
Well today my Chad (aka: McDreamy) and I have been married 11 fabulous years.

Now I don’t claim to be a know it all marriage expert, but I can say this; I am still so much in love with my husband that I count down the minutes until he comes home every day. Are there hard times in our marriage? You bet. But every night I can look over at this man I married 11 years ago and not have one regret about it. I know that these don’t apply to every marriage and relationship, but here are 11 things I’ve learned in the past 11 years:

1. Live for each other.

This is something we discussed when we were dating. You always hear people say they would die for someone, or something they believe in. That’s all well and good, but I think most of us would not hesitate to put our own lives in danger if it meant saving our children or spouse. The real test of love is to live for your spouse. Living for someone is not a one time decision, but a choice we make every minute of every day.

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Matthew 6:21

Bride and Groom

2. Communicate your needs.

No one is a mind reader…except mind readers, but I’m willing to bet your spouse is not one. I am so guilty of forgetting this fact about my husband. I can be needing romance, or a break from the kids, or some help with the laundry and if he doesn’t give me what I need right when I need it, I start to get upset. I have to constantly remind myself that he is not a mind reader. When I tell him what I need, he is almost always willing to do exactly that. I have gotten a lot better over the years, and he has learned to do the same. This definitely has helped our marriage. Next time you are feeling frustrated with your spouse, try telling them what you need in a non-confrontational way and see what happens.

3. Say no more than yes.

This is another one that I have come along way on. I used to say yes to everyone asking for my help or attention. When you are married you need to put your spouse first. If your plate is too full with things that are taking you away from time with your spouse than it is time to say no more often. Once you clear things off your to do list, and make your time together the most important thing, it will really bring you together.

4. Say yes more than no.

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone here, but I want “it” much less than my husband. One thing I’ve learned in the past 11 years is if you say yes more than no, both of you will be happier in your marriage. We are closer, nicer and more helpful in other ways when I don’t turn him down all the time. Think about how you would feel if you were looking for love from your husband and he turned you down…I know it’s not a real likely scenario if your husband is anything like mine, but how would that make you feel? I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be glowing with confidence and feeling super happy with your marriage if you were constantly being denied what you wanted. Say yes more than no, or better yet, don’t say no. I know how hard that can be sometimes, but try it, your husband can thank me later! ;)

Being happy in a relationship

5. Let him be a gentleman.

I know we are all strong, independent women who can do it all, but most men like to feel needed. Let him open your door, give you his jacket, pull out your chair. It will make you feel loved and him feel needed, and that is a win win.

6. Be a lady for him.

Putting a little effort into making ourselves pretty for our spouse goes a long way. Hopefully your husband will love you with or without lipstick, but he will still appreciate the effort to make yourself look good for him. If I am thinking about him when I get dressed, I know he will compliment me, which boosts my confidence and it is all a happy little circle. Never stop trying to impress (while being yourself of course) your spouse.

7. Kiss every morning and night…and lots in between.

My husband is great at this. Every morning before he leaves for work no matter how early, he comes and kisses me goodbye. When he gets home the first thing he does is kisses me hello. He doesn’t care who is around or how many kids are begging for his attention, he always shares his affection with lots of kisses. Every night before bed he kisses me goodnight. Lots of kissing keeps a marriage happy.

8. Hold hands when you are together.

When we are in the car we hold hands. When we walk from the car into the store we hold hands. When we are sitting on the couch watching TV we are holding hands. Unless we need our hands for something else we are holding hands.

Date Night

9. Play.

Chad and I play constantly. Whether it’s flirting through text messages, playing Phase 10 at the kitchen table, wrestling with each other and the kids or singing at the top of our lungs in the car we are always playing. It keeps us smiling, laughing and happy.

10. Rely on one another more than anyone else.

When problems do arise, it is tempting to call my sister or text a friend about how annoyed I am. I think one of the most important things we can do in our marriage is rely on each other more than outside sources. When we have an argument, we try to settle it “in house.” The problem no matter how small will escalate and become much worse when it has someone else to help feed it. Telling others about your problems is the easiest way to make a mountain out of a mole hole.

When I do have a problem, rather than venting to someone else, I make a pros and cons list of sorts. I list all of the things Chad does right, and then once I get to the things he does wrong, nothing seems bad enough to put on that list. Instead of continuing to be mad, I just love him more because I have made a list of all the things I love about him.

11. Say I love you every chance you can, in every way you can.

We make my mom gag all the time at how many times we say I love you each day. It’s amazing how those three words cannot be overused in a marriage. You can say the actual words or use actions to show your love. Chad gets me little things from time to time and calls them “happy day presents” but it’s him telling me that he loves me. A wink, a kiss, a hug, a silly nickname are all other ways that we say I love you during the course of the day. The little things mean just as much, if not more than the big things to show love. When you feel love, you should say it, and say it often.

I love you Chad, more today than I did 11 years ago, and I would marry you all over again. I am your biggest fan and I always will be. Happy Anniversary punkin bum! xoxo

A lot of you are married…and some have been married longer than I have, what would you add to this list to stay ridiculously happy in your marriage?

 

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Tiffany is a stay at home mom to four ridiculously cute kids and wife to one smoking hot Mc Dreamy lookalike. She loves photography, chocolate chip cookies and sunshine. She is the founder of Making the World Cuter, a site committed to doing just what the title states; Making the world cuter, one kid, photograph, outfit, yummy treat or crafty thing at a time.

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Comments

  1. AudreyMcKinnondeGonzalez says

    I really like this post, but I have to say, it’s nothing close to my marriage. These steps seem to work for you and, while my marriage could probably benefit to some things off of this list, I just can’t see these 11 things really fitting my husband and I. It’s good to see that we all love a little differently though. :)

    • says

      @AudreyMcKinnondeGonzalez It is good to see that we all love a little differently! I know this isn’t a one size fits all on relationships, but it has worked for me and my hubby! :)
      Thanks for the comment Audrey!

  2. NikkiS says

    Amazing advice! I am not even close to the 11 yr. mark, but my husband and I do a lot of these things you have suggested! I often hear the first 5 years of your marriage are the hardest, almost to 3 yrs. and we have no problems within our marriage. Now dealing with family that’s a whole new ball game!! ;)

  3. rbcorked says

    My husband and I have been very happily married for 27 years. We do all of the above every day. It is all of the little things that make a strong, happy marriage! Keep up the good work!

  4. Christy says

    Great Advice! I’ve been married 14 years and I do almost everything on this list. (I’m going to start doing #10 better. #4 is very important and very true. Clay and I commute together to work and love to sing in the car. He loves to make up his own lyrics and they somehow always involve something silly about me. Everyone is different so not everything works the same for everyone, but overall I think you nailed it on 11 ways to stay ridiculously happy in marriage. :)

  5. Lacey says

    Don’t run at the first sign of unhappiness. Arguments occur, where would we be without differing opinions? The point is, you stay to be with the person you saw all of those years ago and remember why you chose to spend your life with them. Don’t run because you can’t agree on something, that’s what makes it fun.

  6. Rebecca says

    Wow, I found this blog post from Pinterest and your husband was my next door locker neighbor in high school! What a blast from the past. He used to get into my locker and take my candy, so I would stock up on candy for him. He also drove a sweet jeep! What a good guy he was, looks like he still is. Best wishes.

  7. Jill says

    We’ve been married 20 years now and my #1 tip is a little like yours: I call it, “make no issue more important than the marriage”. We disagree on things. That doesn’t mean we fight over them. We’re both right in our interpretation of the issue at hand. But there is nothing more important to us than the strength and happiness of our marriage.

  8. says

    Give 110% of your effort in the relationship and pray you are getting it back tenfold. When you start becoming selfless and not focusing on your own happiness but that of the other, you can hold your head up high knowing it’s always better to give than to receive. Hopefully the spouse also has the same rule of thumb. The best thing is when you try to outdo the other in giving to one another in selfless acts of kindness. I love it when I say I love you more and I hear back “it’s not possible! I love you more!”…

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